• Carla Arvie

What I've Learned About Self Love

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! Boyyy I am grateful for such a day where we get to celebrate the ones in our life that we hold dear to heart. However, I especially enjoy the part of this day where you get to stuff your face with chocolates! Yum indeed! Ok, ok let me assure you that  this post is not about how wondrous this day is - I figured you've all had enough of that on your social feeds as is today! Nope this post is about self love and a few things that I've learned in my battle to treat myself the way I need to be treated.

The first thing I've learned throughout this "self-love" journey is that I am not like ANYONE else and that I ought to OWN that! In case y'all haven't noticed by now, I'm a bit out there and kind of a weirdo but that's what makes me, ME! God wouldn't have me ANY other way either! *Snaps fingers* One way I show my uniqueness is in the way I dress. And believe it or not, people have had their opinions about what I'm wearing and asked why I do what I do best (pleaseee chile)! 

It gets me in my feelings from time to time but then I realize that these people who put me down for my style choices are of a VERY small percentage of people in my life. And because of my knowledge of fashion, how many people I've actually helped develop style, and my confidence in my passion, I have recognized that those comments don't matter! Because in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "I may not know MANY things, but I know style"! In other words, I would encourage you to never let anyone dim your LIGHT. There's a reason for your uniqueness and skills and you better own them!!!! So shine on friend!

Another lesson I've learned about self love is that you have to TEACH people how to TREAT you! If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, you have the RIGHT to express this to them and even set a boundary or expectation for it not to happen again.

Why? Because this will ultimately help YOU to establish that you're not a doormat and this is a much healthier solution than holding on to a grudge for something that someone forgot or didn't even think about.

Personally I have always struggled with expressing my feelings and boundaries with people because there is a fear that I will not be heard or feel invalid. But time and time again, when I have challenged myself to put my feelings out there and really expressed to the person what I'm battling with, it's been well received and I loved myself SO MUCH more for it because I am ultimately aiding in my needs to feel heard, supported, and cared for.

Lastly, I have learned that my self love starts with how loving I am to myself! As a perfectionist, I can really be hard on myself when I didn't meet my own crazy high expectations of myself. Which isn't fair to me or other people, because those expectations and frustrations can easily be projected onto other people in my life, like my husband or close friends. Although, I really have a hard time with this, I have learned to be patient with myself and understand that I'm simply imperfect. I have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with being imperfect or making a mistake. How else would I get to learn and grow as a person?

Anyway, those are just a few things I've learned about what self love and self care mean for ME! I hope that some of you learned something as well! Thanks as always for your wonderful support and catch you all next time!

Outfit Details

Shirt: $2.50, Thrift Giant (similar one here)

Beret: $6.50, Shein

Glasses: $1, Dollar Store (Darn right)

Pants: $6.99, Burlington Coat Factory

Shoes: $14, Asos

Purse: $19.99, Marshalls (similar one here)

Raincoat: $6, Thrift Giant (similar one here)

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